A friend called me today. Lets call him Red Balls...
RED BALLS: Hi, I have a confession to make
ME: Ok, seriously, if its something stupid im killing your dog
RED BALLS: Ok, please dont laugh at me later, i kind of put Nair on my balls last night and it worked pretty good.
ME: hahahahahah Nair hahahah i dont think that goes on sensitive places such as your balls... hahahhahaahahha
RED BALLS: Seriously, listen, so i put some on and it really did work good. So today i figured i'd put some more on to fix some of the places that it didnt get...and i dont think youre supposed to put it two days in a row, and now my balls are on fire!
ME: hahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahaha *falling off my chair* hhahahaah youre an idiot, didnt the first days burning sensations give you a clue for trying that a second time? How stupid are you? What possessed you to get that? And where did you find a bottle of Nair?
RED BALLS: Well, I bought it the other day, and now im in pain seriously, my balls are red and are burning, i can barely sit and walk....I kind of did it once when i was 21...back in the day my roommates gf had some of that stuff in our apartment and it worked then. And now, i was just wondering if it worked as good as before - but i wasnt supposed to try it two days in a row huh?? What do i do...?
ME: hhahahahahaha youre the biggest idiot ive ever known,,,,youre red balls!! hahahahahah
Well, all i can tell you is to stand naked in the shower and slap cold water onto your balls. hahahahhahahahaahah *he was getting more upset with the crazy laughter***
RED BALLS: Ok, im gonna call you back later...thanks for laughing at me...dont put this on your blog!!!
ME: ok, i wont, i wont put your NAME on my blog, but you can surely bet your ass im writing about it in the blog...read it later hahhahahha
*click*
Seriously, i dont know why people tell me things like this. Like are you serious that i wouldnt share this with anyone? Id rather share it to strangers than tell our friend about what his damn ass did. He should thank me that i didnt text it to everyone we knew... hahahah what a foolio. seriously. ahhh... that was great.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
"Alright, Seriously Im done!"
That title is a favorite quote from the idiot Audrina from The Hills.
It only took her about a year to figure out that deauche bag she was dating was a total idiot. I think the fact that a guy thinking hes a hippe in the year 2007 is a total idiot anyways. That, along with him calling himself "bobby" when their name is Justin...that and hes got the greasiest hair ever and he looks like he never bathes. I mean, if youre gonna look like a bum why bother even showering? Complete the look by actually doing it.
Ugh.... so im taking the reigns into my hands again and am going to go job shopping tomorrow. Imma go to Barnes and Nobles and getting the newspaper and searching and actually getting to it. I dont care what it is anymore. And after that failure im hitting the mall. Imma hit rock bottom and shooting the mall because its officially christmas shopping time and everyone is hiring. Im actually going to do an experiment with several places. On some applications im going to put that i do have a business degree and other places im going to omit that fact. I bet 100 million dollars that the one with no degree will get me a job.
With that in mind i am thinking of picking up this book that seems very interesting: Punching In by Alex Frankel. This guy actually went "under cover" to get into different places to see how commercial jobs do. Check it out, it seems very good. I cant wait to read it!
My birthday was nice. Theres nothing better than spending time with the ones that breed you and make you insane. Cause really in the end, they are the ones that will spoon feed you when youre in the hospital from a terrible car accident and your fiance leaves you because they dont want to marry a paraplegic. Im just sayin! Its true and you know it!
So yea, we went to a shmancy lil Nica restaurant. I even had a Toña. Ahhh yes, it brought back some Nica memories. God, for some reason i feel like its been a really long time since i was there... its kinda a bitter sweet memory with my granpas passing. I do miss him sometimes and think about how retarded he died. He was too young, and my dad had so much to say to him still. And he was supposed to come to my wedding and ship me boatloads of money...and i was going to be the first in the family to get married in a church. Thats why when i saw him in his coffin i promised him id complete that dream, so 2 days laters i confirmed my catholism and also had my first communion. I got yelled at by the priest for waiting so long, but because he knew my grandfather and all his great work with the churches and because he guided my father all that side of the family religiously he understood. But that didnt avoid him yanking out his last two hairs as i messed up the "Our father" and the Creed....i was too nervous...especially when i confessed - i was crying like a baby. Crazy crying...he must get that all the time...
It only took her about a year to figure out that deauche bag she was dating was a total idiot. I think the fact that a guy thinking hes a hippe in the year 2007 is a total idiot anyways. That, along with him calling himself "bobby" when their name is Justin...that and hes got the greasiest hair ever and he looks like he never bathes. I mean, if youre gonna look like a bum why bother even showering? Complete the look by actually doing it.
Ugh.... so im taking the reigns into my hands again and am going to go job shopping tomorrow. Imma go to Barnes and Nobles and getting the newspaper and searching and actually getting to it. I dont care what it is anymore. And after that failure im hitting the mall. Imma hit rock bottom and shooting the mall because its officially christmas shopping time and everyone is hiring. Im actually going to do an experiment with several places. On some applications im going to put that i do have a business degree and other places im going to omit that fact. I bet 100 million dollars that the one with no degree will get me a job.
With that in mind i am thinking of picking up this book that seems very interesting: Punching In by Alex Frankel. This guy actually went "under cover" to get into different places to see how commercial jobs do. Check it out, it seems very good. I cant wait to read it!
My birthday was nice. Theres nothing better than spending time with the ones that breed you and make you insane. Cause really in the end, they are the ones that will spoon feed you when youre in the hospital from a terrible car accident and your fiance leaves you because they dont want to marry a paraplegic. Im just sayin! Its true and you know it!
So yea, we went to a shmancy lil Nica restaurant. I even had a Toña. Ahhh yes, it brought back some Nica memories. God, for some reason i feel like its been a really long time since i was there... its kinda a bitter sweet memory with my granpas passing. I do miss him sometimes and think about how retarded he died. He was too young, and my dad had so much to say to him still. And he was supposed to come to my wedding and ship me boatloads of money...and i was going to be the first in the family to get married in a church. Thats why when i saw him in his coffin i promised him id complete that dream, so 2 days laters i confirmed my catholism and also had my first communion. I got yelled at by the priest for waiting so long, but because he knew my grandfather and all his great work with the churches and because he guided my father all that side of the family religiously he understood. But that didnt avoid him yanking out his last two hairs as i messed up the "Our father" and the Creed....i was too nervous...especially when i confessed - i was crying like a baby. Crazy crying...he must get that all the time...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
#96 Getting older, family, turkey day, fritanga. What more could you want?
Post # 96 is underway. Tomorrows my birthday. Im officially turning 24. I already told my friends im not celebrating it. This year doesnt count. Next yr will. I will be married on Nov. 15 and imma be the luckiest woman in the world. We will actually be hosting our first thanks giving that year too. Mixin the family up is always fun.
My side of the family keeping the liqour from my dad so he wont say anything innapropriate - and my older sister in law will keep the liqour away from her husband so he doesnt do anything innapropriate hahah its gonna be great.
Its gonna be wonderful...i can see it now: plates breaking now as we speak - and my brothers shipping off my dad to the car - while my brother in law gets his ass kicked into the back of the family van to sleep off his drinkin ... yes. its gonna be great!
Now for Christmas? I dont know - i think it will be a lot just to have family so near during the holidays - its gonna be crazy. Too much familyness going on.. I think i will leave that up to someone else. I only submitted my request for thanksgiving you know?
i wonfer if every other hispanic household does thanks giving like my family does? We mix it up a bit with our culture. Like, we get gallo pinto aka: Kidney-Bean Rice; maduro aka: Ripe-fried Plantains; vigoron aka: Yucca, Pork Rinds & Salad; corn tortillas toasted over a grill; quajada, quesillo, crema aka: Special Nicaraguan Cheese; with the turkey; Nicarguan relleno aka stuffing; some cabbage salad; mash potatoes with gravy; corn; and cranberry sauce.
Yeap, thats what we eat on thanks giving. At my boyfriends house its very American, the only cuban spin they put on it is the leg of pork, and their black beans. The rest is very traditional. Not much too it. But atleast i get the best of both worlds at my house. I remember when my bf had our Nicaraguan thanks giving for the first time. He didnt know what to do with himself. Hed never tasted so many different things in one sitting. lol It was great. Im just happy that i converted him into a Nicaraguan- atleast when it comes to the food. He just loves our food.
If you guys want to know more about Nica food. Check out this web site http://www.fritanga.com/menu/menu.htm its the well known small chain stores that run all over South Florida.
My side of the family keeping the liqour from my dad so he wont say anything innapropriate - and my older sister in law will keep the liqour away from her husband so he doesnt do anything innapropriate hahah its gonna be great.
Its gonna be wonderful...i can see it now: plates breaking now as we speak - and my brothers shipping off my dad to the car - while my brother in law gets his ass kicked into the back of the family van to sleep off his drinkin ... yes. its gonna be great!
Now for Christmas? I dont know - i think it will be a lot just to have family so near during the holidays - its gonna be crazy. Too much familyness going on.. I think i will leave that up to someone else. I only submitted my request for thanksgiving you know?
i wonfer if every other hispanic household does thanks giving like my family does? We mix it up a bit with our culture. Like, we get gallo pinto aka: Kidney-Bean Rice; maduro aka: Ripe-fried Plantains; vigoron aka: Yucca, Pork Rinds & Salad; corn tortillas toasted over a grill; quajada, quesillo, crema aka: Special Nicaraguan Cheese; with the turkey; Nicarguan relleno aka stuffing; some cabbage salad; mash potatoes with gravy; corn; and cranberry sauce.
Yeap, thats what we eat on thanks giving. At my boyfriends house its very American, the only cuban spin they put on it is the leg of pork, and their black beans. The rest is very traditional. Not much too it. But atleast i get the best of both worlds at my house. I remember when my bf had our Nicaraguan thanks giving for the first time. He didnt know what to do with himself. Hed never tasted so many different things in one sitting. lol It was great. Im just happy that i converted him into a Nicaraguan- atleast when it comes to the food. He just loves our food.
If you guys want to know more about Nica food. Check out this web site http://www.fritanga.com/menu/menu.htm its the well known small chain stores that run all over South Florida.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Traveling Anyone?
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http://www.rojastravelstore.com
CLICK ON BOOK TRAVEL ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE
Anyonene traveling since its the holidays? Well, I found an excellent site that you can check out. Its got everything you need to travel !! Flights, cars, hotels, cruises, vacation packages, excursions at the places you vacation at, you can order flowers on the site to send to anyone, you can even buy a car - and better deals than the actualy car places. My cousin bought a car on this site and they got a hell of a deal and also got it delivered to their HOUSE. What more would you want people?
What I like the most about the site - is that there this section on the right hand side where you can sign up your email to get all these announcements on cheap flight information and vacation specials.
You can also go back on the site n double check your interary whenever you want.
I got great deals for January when i go back to Nicaragua.
Check it out guys !!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
2 Girls 1 Cup
Must watch....
okay, so there i was minding my own business when my boyfriend tells me that he finally found the clip that everyone has been talking about on the web -
See, he really looks at Youtube, and break.com a lot. And hes been finding these reacion videos:
Suffice to say - that you guys will need to surf it up yourselves. What does it contain? Think youve seen it all? I thought i had seen it all when i saw the video of a guy taking it in the ass by a horse - to this day it haunts my dreams...
Suffice to say that if you have a weak stomache this video is not for you.
Its literally called "2 Girls, 1 Cup"
Its sick - its nasty - and you cant turn away....why? because you need to keep watching to believe it. I put some videos up of the actual reactions of people watching this sick shit...honestly people...take it like a man and watch. Buck up cause your dreams will never remove these images from your head...
Ok, seriously what does it contain? Without giving too much away:
1 - Two girls...
2- some what naked
3- getting it on - literally
4- an ass
5- regurgitation....
okay, so there i was minding my own business when my boyfriend tells me that he finally found the clip that everyone has been talking about on the web -
See, he really looks at Youtube, and break.com a lot. And hes been finding these reacion videos:
Suffice to say - that you guys will need to surf it up yourselves. What does it contain? Think youve seen it all? I thought i had seen it all when i saw the video of a guy taking it in the ass by a horse - to this day it haunts my dreams...
Suffice to say that if you have a weak stomache this video is not for you.
Its literally called "2 Girls, 1 Cup"
Its sick - its nasty - and you cant turn away....why? because you need to keep watching to believe it. I put some videos up of the actual reactions of people watching this sick shit...honestly people...take it like a man and watch. Buck up cause your dreams will never remove these images from your head...
Ok, seriously what does it contain? Without giving too much away:
1 - Two girls...
2- some what naked
3- getting it on - literally
4- an ass
5- regurgitation....
Friday, November 16, 2007
Democratic Debate 11/2008
I am watching the Democratic Debate, cause if Id vote id be voting for my Man Hillary Clinton, i dont care what you say but she the man. She knows what she is talking about unlike "mud-slinger " Edwards.
Though, i rather have enjoyed the views of these Democrats and it has opened my eyes to many about their issues better. And when Hilary exed out against illegal immigrants, that hurt a bit. I am an immigrant - legal not illegal, but people come for many reasons and if someone wants to come here and enforce the work force through back breaking labor they should be given rights for something they have brought to the table. She killed me with her views on that. Other than that i liked everything she said expecially this whole issue about teachers that other candidates tried to dingle dangle, and to actually have the debate even discuss her gender being an issue was brilliant with her response, she couldnt have smacked them on the face better :) RAaar hear women roar.
But - the one who surprisingly hit me was Dennis Kucinich. This man, has brought up some great points and the debate, and didnt allow anyone 2 shut his mouth or his views. Im keeping my eyes on him!
Barack, hes a whiney mother fu*ker. I couldnt hear one minute of him just whining all over the stage. That and his lil cat and mouse game that he has going on with each of his answers. Face it buddy, it aint gonna happen - i dont like your issues. He says the same shit over and over and over again.
Bill Richardson interested me enough to listen.
Joe Biden was racist from his immigrants standpoints but hes got great views, i cant just hate on him cause of those issues. He brought up smart answers and guess what, i paid attention. So i can possibly change my mind about certain candidates.
Christopher Dodd is just smart, and i liked what i heard to an extent...
As for Mr Edwards....my god talk about a tattle tale. What the fuck is his point to only through mud at Clinton? All he did was spike everyones ears on Clinton - he doesnt even realize that his finger pointing "debate" is getting her acclaim when she corrects him. He looks like a smiling dwindling idiot. Tahnk you very much - my views have been expressed. i cant wait to see the next Republican debate to hear what mochary they will try to make of the US again...
Can you tell imma democrat?
Though, i rather have enjoyed the views of these Democrats and it has opened my eyes to many about their issues better. And when Hilary exed out against illegal immigrants, that hurt a bit. I am an immigrant - legal not illegal, but people come for many reasons and if someone wants to come here and enforce the work force through back breaking labor they should be given rights for something they have brought to the table. She killed me with her views on that. Other than that i liked everything she said expecially this whole issue about teachers that other candidates tried to dingle dangle, and to actually have the debate even discuss her gender being an issue was brilliant with her response, she couldnt have smacked them on the face better :) RAaar hear women roar.
But - the one who surprisingly hit me was Dennis Kucinich. This man, has brought up some great points and the debate, and didnt allow anyone 2 shut his mouth or his views. Im keeping my eyes on him!
Barack, hes a whiney mother fu*ker. I couldnt hear one minute of him just whining all over the stage. That and his lil cat and mouse game that he has going on with each of his answers. Face it buddy, it aint gonna happen - i dont like your issues. He says the same shit over and over and over again.
Bill Richardson interested me enough to listen.
Joe Biden was racist from his immigrants standpoints but hes got great views, i cant just hate on him cause of those issues. He brought up smart answers and guess what, i paid attention. So i can possibly change my mind about certain candidates.
Christopher Dodd is just smart, and i liked what i heard to an extent...
As for Mr Edwards....my god talk about a tattle tale. What the fuck is his point to only through mud at Clinton? All he did was spike everyones ears on Clinton - he doesnt even realize that his finger pointing "debate" is getting her acclaim when she corrects him. He looks like a smiling dwindling idiot. Tahnk you very much - my views have been expressed. i cant wait to see the next Republican debate to hear what mochary they will try to make of the US again...
Can you tell imma democrat?
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Woah...Aging Sucks
So i did not realize how the hell thanksgiving was next weekend, that means the enivitable is becoming a reality....im turning 24 people.
im 24 and with a degree and unemployed, atleast i paid my car note, yeap thats me with no car payments. I thought my car insurance was supposed to go down dramatically...it didnt - all i get for being 24 is $2.11 discounted from my car insurance...woopppeee!!!
Anywho...im supposed to go out with my sister n law aka maid of honor-zilla, and her friends this SAturday. We are all pretty much born around the same time and plan to celebrate together. Check out the dates:
Me - the 25th
Maid of honor-zilla - the 28th
Her friend Kelly - the 15th
Her friend Guillermo - the 29th
And the other guy - Dec whatever...
So we are supposed to celebrate at howl at the moon, some bar that gives ridiculously large BUCKET DRINKS. Thats right people a bucket of liqour of whatever the hell ya want! And im ready for that Motherfu*ker..the best part? My sista in law is paying my way - woo hooo im readyy to get tipssyyyy..
________________________________________________
So i figured id make some posts about the jobs that have actually called back for me to get in their payroll. Some i called back others i changed my mind...
1 - For Fun: Sales agent at city furniture hahahah i didnt get it,....Funny story actually - cause i got an email to set up an interview but the email didnt have a date, so i called back to find out the date, and the lady called me back and told me she sent the email to the wrong person - Bitch
2- I applied for a training management trainee position at enterprise rent a Car - they called me back and emailed me....but i didnt want to get back to them , just thinking about renting out cars to people that might actually kill somebody and leave the body in the trunk and ditch the car kept playin in my mind..plus can you imagine how many discounts id have to give my friends....i said pass
3- i applied at Allstate to be a claims adjuster - they called me back, i actually had a pre-interview over the phone today with them, the lady said they would send out my profile to the hiring manager and if they dont send me an email in two weeks to keep looking - great....
4 - i actually applied for teaching positions hahah i actually had the audacity, but i got emailed back - seems like i need some type of certification - im leaving that on the back burner for emergencies, i kinda decided i didnt really want to deal with kids until it was completely NECESSARY to make a paycheck....me and 30 lil rug rats ....ugh who knows..
5- I applied for a Patient Financial Rep at a Hospital - im so excited about this one, cause i get to be the annoying person that comes into your room when you just found out that you died and tell you, that you need to pay the ridiculous amount of money just charged to you for taking that advil they gave you for your headache beacuse you been crying all day....because you found out you were dying... yeah...tsk thats me ! i really want this one!
6 - im taking this tax class for tax preparation and the teacher ( the store manager) offered me to work for her since i speak spanish and shes a gringa...she said it jsut like that too. I will work for her - but she better pay me more since i got a degree... dammit...
7 - And actually im going to a job fair tomorrow for some gym, imma apply for the membership sales counselor , doesnt that sound nice? That or the front desk receptionist, im only applying because i get a free membership and ive been working out but its kinda been raining and getting cold outside...i wanna a nice gym to work out in. That and i get to be around eye candy all DAY! Who wouldnt want to see some nice firm asses,,,,um i mean abs...hahahah hmmm
8- Not to mention all those weird life insurance sales companies that emailed me back - i dont know if im the right person to sell insurance for your life...i wouldnt make any money cause if you die...whats the point?F the loved ones that survive your death - id want the money for myself! thats just the sagitarius greed in me lol
im 24 and with a degree and unemployed, atleast i paid my car note, yeap thats me with no car payments. I thought my car insurance was supposed to go down dramatically...it didnt - all i get for being 24 is $2.11 discounted from my car insurance...woopppeee!!!
Anywho...im supposed to go out with my sister n law aka maid of honor-zilla, and her friends this SAturday. We are all pretty much born around the same time and plan to celebrate together. Check out the dates:
Me - the 25th
Maid of honor-zilla - the 28th
Her friend Kelly - the 15th
Her friend Guillermo - the 29th
And the other guy - Dec whatever...
So we are supposed to celebrate at howl at the moon, some bar that gives ridiculously large BUCKET DRINKS. Thats right people a bucket of liqour of whatever the hell ya want! And im ready for that Motherfu*ker..the best part? My sista in law is paying my way - woo hooo im readyy to get tipssyyyy..
________________________________________________
So i figured id make some posts about the jobs that have actually called back for me to get in their payroll. Some i called back others i changed my mind...
1 - For Fun: Sales agent at city furniture hahahah i didnt get it,....Funny story actually - cause i got an email to set up an interview but the email didnt have a date, so i called back to find out the date, and the lady called me back and told me she sent the email to the wrong person - Bitch
2- I applied for a training management trainee position at enterprise rent a Car - they called me back and emailed me....but i didnt want to get back to them , just thinking about renting out cars to people that might actually kill somebody and leave the body in the trunk and ditch the car kept playin in my mind..plus can you imagine how many discounts id have to give my friends....i said pass
3- i applied at Allstate to be a claims adjuster - they called me back, i actually had a pre-interview over the phone today with them, the lady said they would send out my profile to the hiring manager and if they dont send me an email in two weeks to keep looking - great....
4 - i actually applied for teaching positions hahah i actually had the audacity, but i got emailed back - seems like i need some type of certification - im leaving that on the back burner for emergencies, i kinda decided i didnt really want to deal with kids until it was completely NECESSARY to make a paycheck....me and 30 lil rug rats ....ugh who knows..
5- I applied for a Patient Financial Rep at a Hospital - im so excited about this one, cause i get to be the annoying person that comes into your room when you just found out that you died and tell you, that you need to pay the ridiculous amount of money just charged to you for taking that advil they gave you for your headache beacuse you been crying all day....because you found out you were dying... yeah...tsk thats me ! i really want this one!
6 - im taking this tax class for tax preparation and the teacher ( the store manager) offered me to work for her since i speak spanish and shes a gringa...she said it jsut like that too. I will work for her - but she better pay me more since i got a degree... dammit...
7 - And actually im going to a job fair tomorrow for some gym, imma apply for the membership sales counselor , doesnt that sound nice? That or the front desk receptionist, im only applying because i get a free membership and ive been working out but its kinda been raining and getting cold outside...i wanna a nice gym to work out in. That and i get to be around eye candy all DAY! Who wouldnt want to see some nice firm asses,,,,um i mean abs...hahahah hmmm
8- Not to mention all those weird life insurance sales companies that emailed me back - i dont know if im the right person to sell insurance for your life...i wouldnt make any money cause if you die...whats the point?F the loved ones that survive your death - id want the money for myself! thats just the sagitarius greed in me lol
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