Church Run down

I was thinking about doing a run down on the things that I have to put up with in order to get married at a Catholic Church...not just any church, but this one is where my brothers and I got baptized at, my brothers got their communion at, and most importantly because my parents got married there :)

1. A booking date that is 6 months to a year in advance in order to get the date AND the time. I had to change my wedding date (by the by its Nov 8)3 times in order to get the latest time, which is 6:30pm. I got yelled at by family for even thinking about getting it at 2:30, and honestly seeing as to how many Cubans / Hispanics are attending i had to be honest with myself too and change the time, cause we Latin people tend to run late...a lot... more often then not...um mm yeah.

2. A ridiculous $300 deposit to hold the date and a deposit you DON'T GET BACK!

3. Signing up for a course called "A Walk Through Marriage"....which i would like to add has to be MAILED ALONG WITH A $95 MONEY ORDER) 6 mths in advance....This wonderferous course will be for two days, and to my of course joy, is on a Sat and Sun, (our sacred days off) its a program that will assist couples that plan to get married, to discuss everything there is about marriage...the last day, Sunday, after mass, we get to get our certificates and RUN.

The upside about this? Well, we get discounted for when we get our marriage license for the state. Yeap, we get it $30 off.

Oh and our parents have to go to a gathering too. suckers!

4. We get a handout called "An Introduction to Natural Family Planning"...as my fun loving, Ninja friend commented, its basically a handbook about how to bang my man without a contraceptive and allowing him to spew in my pure innocent body. First of all, eww, and second of all, theres picture people, pictures! On how i can tell "the signs of fertility" through cervical mucus....we all know what that is, but theres PICTURES on how i know the difference between ovulation days and "peak" days of fertility by seeing how sticky my "cervical mucus" is......umm yeah

This is what the handbook says are the :

BENEFITS of NFP (Natural Family Planning)

- Based on scientific fact;
-Cooperates with natures design and treats each menstrual cycle as unique;
- Is effective for achieving or avoiding pregnancy;
- Can be used throughout a womans reproductive life-time;
- Has no harmful side effects;
-Economical
-Values children;
-Requires mutual responsibilities by husband and wife;
-Encorages cuopes communication;
-Fosters respect for and acceptance of the total person.
-Co-operates with Gods design for spouses



Im sorry, but i dont plan on touching and looking at my "cervical mucus" before i chitty chitty bang bang, im just wanna get it going....know what im saying? Strap that condom on and lets ride....

5. A pamphlet on instructions for the wedding at the church and for the wedding in particular....

6. Marriage license information...

7. A book filled with passages from the bible i would assume...and this is so that we can choose the readings that will be read at the church...but they all seem wack, i gotta read through it again. Well, then again, the passages sound better in spanish, the English version loses its umph.

8. 8 forms that will be used for 4 people we know to give out witness testimonys for the couples, 2 per each.....and i have to bring that in...

9. And the big dipper of em all.... $1200 or 1000 for the "DONATION" to the church...

I dont even wanna talk about that so called donation.... my man was not happy about that...